59 pages • 1 hour read
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When the novel begins, Mallory is 18 months sober. She quickly establishes that neither she nor the reader can rely on her narration, no matter how honest she wishes to be in the text. Once she reveals that the words of Hidden Pictures comprise a book that Teddy/Flora may read, it is obvious that Mallory has no interest in hiding her own possible deficiencies.
Mallory may be susceptible to false memories, rather than engaging with shame in a constructive way. Russell says that “an addict’s brain will ‘remember’ happy fantasies so we can avoid dwelling on real memories—all the shameful things we did to get high, all the shitty ways we hurt good people who loved us” (5). This is why it is easier for Mallory to lie to Adrian than to lead with the truth about herself. She prefers the fantasy in which she kept her running scholarship and did not lose her sister and mother. However, Mallory’s addiction can be fought. Her recovery program, her faith, and Russell’s support give her a support system that works against the shame and helps her move on. Mallory is in the proactive business of healing.
Contrasting with Mallory’s honest evaluation of her actions is the fantasy world constructed by Ted.