Kill for Me, Kill for You

Amanda White is the protagonist of Kill for Me, Kill for You and one of the novel’s primary narrators. Amanda is defined by her grief following the death of her daughter, Jess, and her husband, Luis, facilitating the novel’s exploration of The Lasting Effects of Traumatic Events. Amanda explains that, because Crone was not prosecuted for Jess’s murder, she feels like she “can’t grieve” for her daughter. Because she can’t grieve properly, “the pain just goes on” (104). At the same time, Amanda sees her grief as a “secret weapon” that can help her to avenge the deaths of her loved ones. She imagines her grief as a raw “nerve ending that would eventually make her pull that trigger in Crone’s face” (46). These passages suggest that Amanda is trying to weaponize her grief in order to make Crone feel her suffering. The novel indicates that this desire for vengeance is physical and all-consuming: “[S]he wanted to kill him so badly, it had taken over her life” (93). Amanda describes her desire for vengeance as “a real feeling [that] electrified her senses, made her feel alive” (111). These passages suggest that Amanda’s desire for vengeance is a physical sensation that lives in her body rather than a passing emotion: It both drives her and consumes her.