Memorial Days

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of death and animal death.

“I stood there and suppressed that howl. Because I was alone, and no one could help me. And if I let go, if I fell, I might not be able to get back up.”

This passage captures the moment when Brooks first learned of her husband Tony’s death and found herself completely alone. The emotional intensity is distilled into a single physical image of her suppressing a scream, symbolizing the overwhelming weight of sorrow held in check by the sheer necessity of survival. Brooks’s choice to suppress it reveals her internal struggle between expressing unbearable grief and needing to maintain control.

“I have come to realize that what I did that day in late May 2019 and what I was obliged to do in the days and months that followed has exacted an invisible price. I am going to this remote island to pay it.”

Brooks reflects on the emotional toll of her initial subdued response to Tony’s death and the burdens she carried in its aftermath. The phrase “invisible price” highlights that grief exacts a toll that is not immediately visible but that accumulates silently over time. Her decision to retreat to a remote island becomes symbolic not just of escape but of a deliberate act of reckoning and self-healing. The passage sets the stage for her time on Flinders Island as a kind of pilgrimage, where solitude becomes a means of facing and honoring her grief.

“I have come to realize that my life since Tony’s death has been one endless, exhausting performance. I have cast myself in a role: woman being normal.”

Brooks confronts the performative nature of grief, revealing the emotional labor required to appear functional while internally unraveling. The metaphor of being “cast […] in a role” highlights her conscious effort to mask her pain and critiques the societal pressure on women to remain composed, efficient, and emotionally contained, even after profound loss.