The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless Versus The Rest Of Us

Martha Stout’s nonfiction The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless Versus the Rest of Us (2005) attempts to present an accurate depiction of sociopaths. Also known as psychopaths, they do not have a conscience, nor do they experience feelings of love or sorrow. They live their lives as if they are performers in a play with no concept of shame or guilt. They attempt to get “normal” people into relationships that are abusive and that generally end in disaster. Stout attempts to educate her readers to help them avoid becoming victims. The Sociopath Next Door is a self-help guide as well as an attempt to impart information about the troubling condition. Stout is a psychologist who has worked and/or taught at venues including Harvard Medical School, Wellesley College, and the McLean Psychiatric Hospital. Her writing has appeared in publications, including The Boston Globe, The Huffington Post, and The New Republic.

The Sociopath Next Door looks at the people who, without being guided by a conscience, live their lives being as devious as necessary to achieve whatever goals they have in mind. Their minds let them go as far outside of the norms of society as they want without having any influence on them. Guilt plays no role. Sociopaths feel no regret no matter what they might say or do. Stout refers to the DSM-IV, the manual for diagnosing mental disorders, and outlines seven characteristics that define sociopathic behavior: failure to conform to social norms, being deceitful and manipulative, impulsivity, being aggressive and irritable, having a lack of concern for the safety of self and others, being irresponsible, and lacking concern and remorse for one’s antisocial actions. A sociopath will display three or more of the seven symptoms.

According to statistics in the book, four percent of the population is made up of sociopaths. Stout gives examples of just how destructive a sociopath can be. She shows that such behavior does not have to manifest itself on a wide scale such as a dictatorial world leader or a powerful, controlling high corporate official. The sociopath can be a parent, friend, or anyone who sets out to create chaos or destruction in the lives of others. A trait of sociopaths is that they are frequently bored. This leads them to create drama and pain in the lives of others, which seems to entertain them. Sociopaths do not necessarily become criminals, but they all have a common lack of guilt and a lack of compassion. They are proficient at drawing in others and gaining their trust. Their victims are caught up in the havoc before they realize what is happening to them. At this point, it is too late.



The author does not explain what factors might lead to sociopathy but leans toward a mixture of nature and nurture. She cites some potentially positive outcomes from sociopathy such as soldiers on the battlefront who have the ability to kill without feeling guilt. Since there is not a clear-cut understanding of what causes one to become a sociopath, Stout admits that there is not a cure for the condition. How, for example, could a conscience be fostered in someone who has never had one? Even coming up with a comprehensive definition of what a conscience is proves elusive. The author does, however, present a set of rules for dealing with a sociopath who is part of one’s life. Being suspicious of flattery is suggested as well as avoiding being seduced by pity, which she states as a common tool used by sociopaths.

Stout gives a picture of the potential dangers that can accompany living alongside people who lack a conscience. She points out that sociopathy is not a condition to be envied even though it may seem to have a certain appeal. She stresses that, ultimately, people would not be happier if they were able to go through life without feeling guilt over their antisocial actions. Stout bases much of her writing on the stories she heard from the patients she has treated, the survivors of trauma at the hands of sociopaths. She also uses composites of people whom she has known to create examples for her narrative. In stressing the importance of the conscience, the author says, “The best part of possessing a moral sense is the deep and beautiful gift that comes to us inside, and only inside, the wrappings of conscience. The ability to love comes bundled up in conscience, just as our spirits are bundled up in our bodies.”

Publishers Weekly says of The Sociopath Next Door, “Dramatic as these tales are, they are composites, and while Stout is a good writer and her exploration of sociopaths can be arresting, this book occasionally appeals to readers’ paranoia, as the book’s title and its guidelines for dealing with sociopaths indicate.”